Saturday, October 12, 2019
Analysis of The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe :: essays research papers
?The Raven? by Edgar Allan Poe Edgar Allan Poe?s ?The Raven? is a dark reflection on lost love, death, and loss of hope. The poem examines the emotions of a young man who has lost his lover to death and who tries unsuccessfully to distract himself from his sadness through books. Books, however, prove to be of little help, as his night becomes a nightmare and his solitude is shattered by a single visitor, the raven. Through this poem, Poe uses symbolism, imagery and tone, as well as a variety of poetic elements to enforce his theme of sadness and death of the one he loves. Within the poem Poe divides the characters and imagery into two conflicting aspects of light and dark. Almost everything in the poem reflects one world or the other. For example, Lenore, who is repeatedly described as ?radiant? epitomizes the world of light along with the angels she has joined. Another image of light would be the lamplight the character uses to light his chamber, his refuge from the darkness of the outside. However, The Raven, as well as the dreary December night shows signs of darkness. These images of light and darkness go even further to represent life and death, the man?s hope of an afterlife with Lenore and his fear of everlasting loneliness. The poem consists of an undeniable narrative structure. Told from the third person, Poe also uses symbolism to create a strong melancholy tone. For instance, both midnight and December symbolize an end of something and the hope of something new to happen. Another example is the chamber in which the narrator is placed, this is used to show the loneliness of the man. Along with imagery and symbolism, Poe incorporates many poetic elements to express his feeling. These include assonance, alliteration, and rhyme. Assonance is the repetition of vowel sounds. For example ?For the race and radiant maiden, whom the angels name Lenore.? This repeats the vowel sound of ?a?. Poe also used a lot of alliteration. For example, ?Doubting dreaming dreams no mortal level, dared to dream before?. Notice the repetition of the ?d? sound. One last element used in ?The Raven? is rhyme.
Friday, October 11, 2019
E Business
ELECTRONIC COMMERCE MANAGEMENT ITECH7606 Case Study Report Student Name Kuruppu Dilshan Rodrigo Student ID 30094858 1 ELECTRONIC COMMERCE MANAGEMENT 30094858 Executive Summery In this case study i am critically evaluates all aspects of an Coles Pvt Ltd that engages i electronic commerce or electronic business and communicate these key issues though this report base on under mention topics.Brief introduction about Coles and infrastructure, current implementation of the internet in Coles group, description about an impact has made internet on this organization and also different business models which they use to improve their turn over and customer relationship. Identification of value chains and i am going to discuss some of the problems that specifically might encounter electronic supply chain management , identify suppliers, make payments, check availability of supplies, automatic reordering of supplies through shared systems, track order progress, collaborative demand planning and forecasting.I have mention about few implementations which regards to e procurement and activities. Different types of e-marketing method which coles use to compete with other retain giants such as Woolie , different techniques have been used in my selected organization and how electronic communication to differentiate products and services. Finally some of the change management issues that they have faced during past years. 2 ELECTRONIC COMMERCE MANAGEMENT 30094858 Index Page No Introduction 03 Body 04 Conclusion 15 Reference 16 3 ELECTRONIC COMMERCE MANAGEMENT Introduction 30094858 In 1985 G.J Coles, primarily a Melbourne-based supermarket chain, merged with Myer Ltd, an upmarket Melbourne department store, becoming Coles Myer Ltd. The merger was brought on by an expectation of significant cost savings from sharing services and overheads such as purchasing, warehousing, information technology and property. However these benefits never occurred. Coles Myer was burdened with poor ma nagement, bad strategic decisions, and internal conflict. Their share price was faltering, and lagging behind their biggest competitor Woolworths, and profit had been stagnant for three years.In September 2001 the board appointed John Fletcher as chief executive, well known for his part in turning Brambles into a successful international company. Fletcherââ¬â¢s first priority was to do something about Coles Myerââ¬â¢s share price, however he recognised that to be able to change it he must first deal with the companyââ¬â¢s strategic and structural problems. This analysis of organisational design and effectiveness will discuss the issues experienced by Coles discussion of theories related to the these problems and possible solutions, an examination of what is being done, and what else could be done to improve the situation.The implementation of common ,centralised IT and processes throughout the Coles Group would play a significant role in their future success. Using common s oftware and procedures will increase communication and coordination, and reduce organisational complexity. A centralised system is well suited to the Coles Group, and it will enhance control and monitoring; important processes in a machine bureaucracy. Leifer (1988) asserts that effective performance of centralised computer business information systems requires rules and policies that match the tasks of the machine bureaucracy organisation, supporting this statement.Moving to a centralised system would appear to be a significant change, however Rockart and Scott Morton (1984, cited in Leifer 1986 p 66. ) believe implementing a centralised system in a machine bureaucracy requires few changes on part of the organisationâ⬠. 4 ELECTRONIC COMMERCE MANAGEMENT 30094858 While online shopping in the grocery and liquor market represents only a small proportion of total food and drink sales in Australia it is growing significantly. Coles Online saw a doubling of sales in 2010. Coles sells liquor online through our Liquorland Direct and Vintage Cellars Wine Club.We have experienced growth in sales in the online liquor market as we have seen in groceries. In the more mature online grocery shopping markets, such as in the UK, online shopping represents about 4 per cent of the food and drink market, and it is expected to grow to 12 per cent by 2014. 2 Coles does not anticipate material employment impacts in its business from the growth in online retail. The growth in online retail has lead to an increase in employment to service the online market. Online purchases are picked from the existing supermarket shelves and require drivers to delivery groceries.When Coles first started online sales, distribution centres were used to pick and deliver groceries. Now, Coles online operates out of selected supermarkets Presently every organization has great impact on internet; quite a lot of businesses merge into online business. coles group introduce their first web page long time ago, due to rapidly changing technology and challenges they move out and implement according to overcome and withstand modern word technical challenges too at the moment coles web page run by aspx which is provide dynamic web rather than static web pages which is display only information to customers.Fig 01 5 ELECTRONIC COMMERCE MANAGEMENT 30094858 Above fig 01 show how dynamic web page work technically. Even though it seems to be quite easy but there are number of information technology master minds work at back stage 24Ãâ"7 to provide secure and reliable service to customers. Coles implemented rich interface page using latest web development technology to provide wide range of facilities to their customer. Online shopping through the Coles Online brand began in 1999 with delivery across the Sydney and Melbourne metropolitan areas.The service was initially restricted to the Sydney and Melbournemetropolitan areas as the service was run out of a distribution centre in each capital city. The online service moved out of distribution centres into six stores across Sydney and Melbourne in 2008. In 2010, our online service expanded to all States and Territories in order to respond to customer demand. Now Coles Online services over 85 per cent of Australiaââ¬â¢s population with delivery in all capital cities and major towns. Coles online businesses offer four types of services â⬠¢ Home delivery: Delivery to your doorstep or kitchen bench via refrigerated van Business delivery: Delivery to offices and a wide variety of other organisations requiring groceries â⬠¢ Remote delivery: Delivery to remote areas of the NT, WA and far north Queensland. Remote customers of Coles historically ordered via telephone or fax with their own courier arrangements in place (road, rail, barge or air). This has been transitioned to full visibility of a virtual supermarket on the internet with significant benefits all round â⬠¢ Collection: Customer collection of groceries ordered online ââ¬â either at a designated Coles Supermarket or another location with chilled storage facilities . ELECTRONIC COMMERCE MANAGEMENT 30094858 Coles Online features â⬠¢ A huge range of all popular supermarket items (covering 22,000 SKUs) â⬠¢ Online exclusive specials â⬠¢ Weekly catalogue specials â⬠¢ Unique product offers such as ââ¬ËFruit & Vegetable Boxes' and ââ¬ËCreate Your Own Hampers' â⬠¢ Personal account areas to manage your orders and create custom lists â⬠¢ Express Shop search functionality â⬠¢ Fresh and easy recipe ideas â⬠¢ Seasonal product range â⬠¢ Detailed product information and nutritional information â⬠¢ A convenient range of delivery time slots â⬠¢ FlyBuys points.You can continue to collect 2 standard FlyBuys points for every $5 you spend with Coles when you register your FlyBuys number in ââ¬ËMy Accountââ¬â¢. 7 ELECTRONIC COMMERCE MANAGEMENT 30094858 The Internet can help companies create and capture profit in new ways by adding extra value to existing products and services or by providing the foundation for new products and services. The Internet Business models are abstraction of what and how the enterprise delivers product or service, showing how the enterprise creates wealth by taking advantages of the Internet's rich communication capabilities.They provide the customer with a new product or service; They provide additional information or service along with a traditional product or service, or they provide a product or service at a much lower cost than traditional means. How do these organizations' business models affect the way they market themselves? How does the target market learn more about this site? Coles online have business models that rely entirely on internet transactions. They need to create volume sales as efficiently as possible. Therefore, they have done everything they can to direct consumer traffic to their sites regardless of their product.Through r eferral sites, online advertising and most importantly web services, they have been very effective at this goal. They have expanded via third parties to increase their web presence. Consumers learn more about both of these sites almost automatically if they search for a product on the web.. AZ is not a revenue targeted site, but they probably prefer more AZ consumers using their online services. I have seen links to their site on other web sites, primarily AZ newspapers online. Identify benefits of this site to the organization and to the site's visitors.The benefits of Amazon's and EBay's sites to their respective organizations should be obvious from the other answers. These businesses are entirely web-based, so they would be non-existent without the site and its visitors. All of their revenue, brand recognition and global presence comes from their sites. Unlike hybrid retailers like Walmart or Target, you will likely never see an Amazon physical bricks and mortar store. The benefi ts to the consumers of Amazon and EBay are the wide array of products that can be 8 ELECTRONIC COMMERCE MANAGEMENT 30094858 purchased and shipped directly to their home.Used products, unusual products, competitive pricing, the power of database searching and one stop shopping are also benefits of both sites. With AZ, the benefits to the organization are mostly in servicing costs. It is much cheaper for Arizona government if everyone in Arizona renews their driver's licenses online. Also, Arizona wants to grow, both in number of residents and number of businesses. By providing a central site for prospective residents and business owners, the AZ site might attract some more residents and businesses. The benefits of AZ to consumers is the ease of performing Arizona services online.Using myself as an example, I seek to do anything possible online, rather than drive to or call a service center. I have renewed my drivers license at the AZ site as well as downloaded tax forms and applied f or duplicate vehicle titles. When we look at this organization as a whole , i would be able recognize there two different business models involves in their business process such as B2C business to customer ââ¬â It applies to any business or organisation that sells its products or services to consumers on the internet for its own use. About one fifth of e-commerce takes place between businesses and consumers.B2C is of greater interest to the public, because most of the online buyers are people (in millions) and not organisations. On the other hand B2B business to business It involves companies buying from and selling to each other, on the internet. In other words it is commercial activity between businesses. Online B2B is growing fast in both horizontal and vertical markets. In a horizontal market, companies in one industry sell to companies in other industries, whereas in a vertical market business takes place among companies operating in the same industry in a sequential supply chain.Under the B2B process, a higher level of collaboration between retailer and supplier is required. In particular this will affect both Coles and supplierââ¬â¢s IT systems and business processes. Trading via B2B results in these three outcomes ? Cost effective Administration 9 ELECTRONIC COMMERCE MANAGEMENT ? ? Timely Outcomes Reliable Processes 30094858 In its simplest form, B2B documents follow this approach All orders placed by Grocery Holdings Pty Ltd (GHPL), the wholesale operation servicing our retail Brands, will be transacted this way. Currently the following are out of scope for the B2B program ? Direct to store deliveries ?General Merchandise Cross-dock deliveries to GHPL ? Deliveries of Fresh Fruit & Vegetables and Fresh Fish ? Random Weight items The Benefits to suppliers of moving to B2B 10 ELECTRONIC COMMERCE MANAGEMENT 30094858 There are many benefits for both suppliers and Coles by moving to B2B trading processes. Though not all may apply to every supplier he re is a list of the more commonly known benefits: Electronic messaging is a fast, accurate and versatile way for passing information between trading partnerââ¬â¢s systems enabling better business decisions to be made. The speed and accuracy of the scan packing process leads to a reduction in pick errors.This results in a reduction in claims for incorrect delivery quantity that occur when a manual picking process is used. The introduction of the electronic invoice (eI) means that the occurrence of lost ââ¬Ëpaperââ¬â¢ invoices ceases. This, in turn, improves the average days outstanding of supplier invoices. GHPL DCââ¬â¢s prefer to deal with compliant suppliers because of the labour savings B2B generates. DCââ¬â¢s have cost budgets too, and it makes sense for them to schedule deliveries at the cheapest times to process them (i. e. during standard business hours, wherever possible).The B2B process enables information such as batch codes and use-by dates to flow from syst em to system easily and accurately, and this helps ensure customers consume goods at their freshest. Moving to B2B with Coles means suppliers will trade using a single, uniform process across all Coles brands. Suppliers who already trade with other retail business (e. g. Kmart, Target or Officeworks) will be familiar with the B2B process, as these businesses have been using B2B exclusively for many years. The web-based TPM system enables suppliers to view their PO, ASN and ADM, in real time, day or night.B2B improves sales for both Coles and suppliers because the POA enables Coles National Inventory Team to order additional stock for items not fully supplied on previous orders. 11 ELECTRONIC COMMERCE MANAGEMENT 30094858 Faster truck turnaround time occurs because DCââ¬â¢s ââ¬Ëscan receiveââ¬â¢ the stock into their systems, as opposed to the old manual process. B2B compliant suppliers are already talking to their transport Six Steps to Implementation The following steps outl ined in the following pages have been designed to help you implement a B2B eCommerce solution.Auditing your current internal processes will help you determine how much work is required to prepare you for the B2B process. You may have already partially completed some of these steps, which can be discussed further with your eCommerce Implementation Team member, to confirm your requirements. The 6 steps are: 1. Project Initialisation 2. Research and Plan 3. Install and Test 4. End-to-End Validation and Accreditation Testing 5. Cut Over and ââ¬ËGo Liveââ¬â¢ 6. Monitor Step 1: Project Initialisation As a supplier to GHPL, you may have been approached directly by Coles to participate in the B2B eCommerce program.This approach may have taken the form of: . . A request for a one-on-one meeting Direct mail and follow up We will discuss the B2B requirements, operational processes and the steps needed to implement the B2B process. Specific business objectives and required timelines will be detailed. 12 ELECTRONIC COMMERCE MANAGEMENT 30094858 If a face-to-face meeting or conference call is organised consider bringing the following participants ? ? ? Account Manager(s) Technical staff (internal or consultants) Supply Chain staffStep 2: Research and Plan Once you've agreed to implement a B2B eCommerce solution, you need to think about how you will implement it and what you need to do to set up your solution. This step is very important and you should spend the time necessary to get it right for your business. Research involves: . . . . Assessing your current processes, systems and overall direction Evaluating potential solutions (if none have previously been implemented) Scoping, costing and selecting a final solution Familiarisation with the planning and testing functionality provided by the CMT.Understanding the change management requirements within your business given the required process changes to implement B2B Preparing an implementation plan that establishes yo ur readiness to trade electronically in the required timeframe. 13 Step 3: Install and Test This step will vary greatly from supplier to supplier depending on your size, type of merchandise, solution provider and current infrastructure. Typically during this phase you will: Install any additional or upgraded hardware and software. Test communications and all the B2B documents as part of your systems development cycle.Define, confirm and test re-engineered processes from receipt of order to despatch. All document validation will be facilitated via the use of the CMT. When you've completed this step, you will be ready to undertake a complete set of End-ToEnd test scenarios (from electronic order to eI) with Coles prior to being accredited. Step 4: End-to-End Validation and Accreditation Testing During this step several test scenarios will be performed commencing with an electronic test order and ending with an eInvoice. You will be required to receive and process a test order as if it were a real order.Contents of the order must be validated prior to picking and packing All suppliers are required to respond with a POA for every PO on the day it is received. The packing process must result in SCM Logistics labels and ASN(s) being generated. You will not be required to deliver the stock ordered on your test orders. The ASN is transmitted to Coles and the SCM Logistics labels are sent to the eCIT for verification. 14 ELECTRONIC COMMERCE MANAGEMENT The eI is transmitted to Coles. An ADM will be sent to the supplier to advise that NIL stock was receipted. 0094858 B2B accreditation is achieved when you have successfully completed all the steps in the CMT. Step 5: Cut Over and Go Live Your eCIT team member will guide you through a comprehensive ââ¬ËGo Liveââ¬â¢ Checklist as the final check that all elements of your change to B2B have been understood and considered. Commencing on the agreed ââ¬ËGo Liveââ¬â¢ date, Coles will expect all orders to be processed using the B2B process. The eCIT will advise relevant Coles receiving locations of the date you expect to commence live B2B deliveries.Step 6: Monitor This is an ongoing process. Coles will randomly check and monitor your delivery performance to ensure that integrity requirements are maintained. Detailed checking will initially be quite intensive until the system has established your process integrity. 100% integrity will result in less checks being performed, however, deliveries with errors will increase the level of checking. Increased checking will slow processing down considerably and increase processing costs proportionately. 15 ELECTRONIC COMMERCE MANAGEMENTConclusion 30094858 Finally, adopting e commerce to Coles has done huge impact on whole organization in various ways, letting more opportunities to interact with customer, receive feedback and record data by using Flybyes then introduce customised range of products according to sessions and personal interest of the year. Usi ng high technical business system to make life easier for top to bottom management and smooth run of organization to provide better customer satisfaction on the other hand increase their productivity and revenue.Bargaining power of buyers To strengthen the relation between buyers and suppliers using high software investments were things in the past. Modern technologies allow forward and backward incorporation in the value chain. Coles is one of the challenging competitor for all other retailer ,i believe Coles is top in the Australian retail industry. 16 ELECTRONIC COMMERCE MANAGEMENT References Books ? 30094858 Burton, R. M. , Lauridsen, J. ; Obel, B. 1999, ââ¬ËTension and Resistance to Change in Organizational Climate: Managerial Implications for a Fast Paced Worldââ¬â¢, Retrieved April 26th, 2007 from Wood, J. ; Chapman, J. ; Fromholtz, M. ; Morrison, V. ; Wallace, J. ; Zeffane, M. ; Schemerhorn, J. ; Hunt, J. ; Osborne, R. 2003, Organisational behaviour: a global perspecti ve, 3rd edition, John Wiley & Sons Australia Ltd, Milton Qld ? Leifer, Richard 1988 ââ¬ËMatching Computer-Based Information Systems with Organizational Structuresââ¬â¢, MIS Quarterly, Vol 12, no 1, pp 66. ? Rockart, J. and Scott Morton, M. 1984 ââ¬ËImplications of Changes in Information Technology for Corporate Strategyââ¬â¢ Interfaces, Vol 14, no 1, pp. 84-96, cited in ?Leifer, Richard 1988 ââ¬ËMatching Computer-Based Information Systems with Organizational Structuresââ¬â¢, MIS Quarterly, Vol 12, no 1, pp 66. Journals ? Simpson, Kirsty 2006 ââ¬ËColes drops Kmart, Bi-Loââ¬â¢, The Age, August 1st, 2006, Retrieved April 26th from ? Robbins, S. P and Barnwell, N. S. 2006, Organisation Theory: Concepts and Cases, Prentice Hall, Sydney 17 ELECTRONIC COMMERCE MANAGEMENT Websites ? www. theage. com. au/news/business/coles-drops-kmartbilo/2006/07/31/1154198073979. html ? 30094858 www. lok. cbs. dk/images/publ/Burton%20og%20Obel%20og%20Lauridsen%20tensio n%202000. pdf 18
Thursday, October 10, 2019
The Twilight Saga 2: New Moon Chapter 4 WAKING UP
TIME PASSES. EVEN WHEN IT SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE. EVEN when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me. CHARLIE'S FIST CAME DOWN ON THE TABLE. ââ¬Å"THAT'S IT, Bella! I'm sending you home.â⬠I looked up from my cereal, which I was pondering rather than eating, and stared at Charlie in shock. I hadn't been following the conversationactually, I hadn't been aware that we were having a conversationand I wasn't sure what he meant. ââ¬Å"I am home,â⬠I mumbled, confused. ââ¬Å"I'm sending you to Renee, to Jacksonville,â⬠he clarified. Charlie watched with exasperation as I slowly grasped the meaning of his words. ââ¬Å"What did I do?â⬠I felt my face crumple. It was so unfair. My behavior had been above reproach for the past four months. After that first week, which neither of us ever mentioned, I hadn't missed a day of school or work. My grades were perfect. I never broke curfewI never went anywhere from which to break curfew in the first place. I only very rarely served leftovers. Charlie was scowling. ââ¬Å"You didn't do anything. That's the problem. You never do anything.â⬠ââ¬Å"You want me to get into trouble?â⬠I wondered, my eyebrows pulling together in mystification. I made an effort to pay attention. It wasn't easy. I was so used to tuning everything out, my ears felt stopped up. ââ¬Å"Trouble would be better than this this moping around all the time!â⬠That stung a bit. I'd been careful to avoid all forms of moroseness, moping included. ââ¬Å"I am not moping around.â⬠ââ¬Å"Wrong word,â⬠he grudgingly conceded. ââ¬Å"Moping would be betterthat would be doing something. You're just lifeless, Bella. I think that's the word I want.â⬠This accusation struck home. I sighed and tried to put some animation into my response. ââ¬Å"I'm sorry, Dad.â⬠My apology sounded a little flat, even to me. I'd thought I'd been fooling him. Keeping Charlie from suffering was the whole point of all this effort. How depressing to think that the effort had been wasted. ââ¬Å"I don't want you to apologize.â⬠I sighed. ââ¬Å"Then tell me what you do want me to do.â⬠ââ¬Å"Bella,â⬠he hesitated, scrutinizing my reaction to his next words. ââ¬Å"Honey, you're not the first person to go through this kind of thing, you know.â⬠ââ¬Å"I know that.â⬠My accompanying grimace was limp and unimpressive. ââ¬Å"Listen, honey. I think thatthat maybe you need some help.â⬠ââ¬Å"Help?â⬠He paused, searching for the words again. ââ¬Å"When your mother left,â⬠he began, frowning, ââ¬Å"and took you with her.â⬠He inhaled deeply. ââ¬Å"Well, that was a really bad time for me.â⬠ââ¬Å"I know, Dad,â⬠I mumbled. ââ¬Å"But I handled it,â⬠he pointed out. ââ¬Å"Honey, you're not handling it. I waited, I hoped it would get better.â⬠He stared at me and I looked down quickly. ââ¬Å"I think we both know it's not getting better.â⬠ââ¬Å"I'mfine.â⬠He ignored me. ââ¬Å"Maybe, well, maybe if you talked to someone about it. A professional.â⬠ââ¬Å"You want me to see a shrink?â⬠My voice was a shade sharper as I realized what he was getting at. ââ¬Å"Maybe it would help.â⬠ââ¬Å"And maybe it wouldn't help one little bit.â⬠I didn't know much about psychoanalysis, but I was pretty sure that it didn't work unless the subject was relatively honest. Sure, I could tell the truthif I wanted to spend the rest of my life in a padded cell. He examined my obstinate expression, and switched to another line of attack. ââ¬Å"It's beyond me, Bella. Maybe your motherâ⬠ââ¬Å"Look,â⬠I said in a flat voice. ââ¬Å"I'll go out tonight, if you want. I'll call Jess or Angela.â⬠ââ¬Å"That's not what I want,â⬠he argued, frustrated. ââ¬Å"I don't think I can live through seeing you try harder. I've never seen anyone trying so hard. It hurts to watch.â⬠I pretended to be dense, looking down at the table. ââ¬Å"I don't understand, Dad. First you're mad because I'm not doing anything, and then you say you don't want me to go out.â⬠ââ¬Å"I want you to be happyno, not even that much. I just want you not to be miserable. I think you'll have a better chance if you get out of Forks.â⬠My eyes flashed up with the first small spark of feeling I'd had in too long to contemplate. ââ¬Å"I'm not leaving,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"Why not?â⬠he demanded. ââ¬Å"I'm in my last semester of schoolit would screw everything up.â⬠ââ¬Å"You're a good studentyou'll figure it out.â⬠ââ¬Å"I don't want to crowd Mom and Phil.â⬠ââ¬Å"Your mother's been dying to have you back.â⬠ââ¬Å"Florida is too hot.â⬠His fist came down on the table again. ââ¬Å"We both know what's really going on here, Bella, and it's not good for you.â⬠He took a deep breath. ââ¬Å"It's been months. No calls, no letters, no contact. You can't keep waitingforhim.â⬠I glowered at him. The heat almost, but not quite, reached my face. It had been a long time since I'd blushed with any emotion. This whole subject was utterly forbidden, as he was well aware. ââ¬Å"I'm not waiting for anything. I don't expect anything,â⬠I said in a low monotone. ââ¬Å"Bella,â⬠Charlie began, his voice thick. ââ¬Å"I have to get to school,â⬠I interrupted, standing up and yanking my untouched breakfast from the table. I dumped my bowl in the sink without pausing to wash it out. I couldn't deal with any more conversation. ââ¬Å"I'll make plans with Jessica,â⬠I called over my shoulder as I strapped on my school bag, not meeting his eyes. ââ¬Å"Maybe I won't be home for dinner. We'll go to Port Angeles and watch a movie.â⬠I was out the front door before he could react. In my haste to get away from Charlie, I ended up being one of the first ones to school. The plus side was that I got a really good parking spot. The downside was that I had free time on my hands, and I tried to avoid free time at all costs. Quickly, before I could start thinking about Charlie's accusations, I pulled out my Calculus book. I flipped it open to the section we should be starting today, and tried to make sense of it. Reading math was even worse than listening to it, but I was getting better at it. In the last several months, I'd spent ten times the amount of time on Calculus than I'd ever spent on math before. As a result, I was managing to keep in the range of a low A. I knew Mr. Varner felt my improvement was all due to his superior teaching methods. And if that made him happy, I wasn't going to burst his bubble. I forced myself to keep at it until the parking lot was full, and I ended up rushing to English. We were working on Animal Farm, an easy subject matter. I didn't mind communism; it was a welcome change from the exhausting romances that made up most of the curriculum. I settled into my seat, pleased by the distraction of Mr. Berty's lecture. Time moved easily while I was in school. The bell rang all too soon. I started repacking my bag. ââ¬Å"Bella?â⬠I recognized Mike's voice, and I knew what his next words would be before he said them. ââ¬Å"Are you working tomorrow?â⬠I looked up. He was leaning across the aisle with an anxious expression. Every Friday he asked me the same question. Never mind that I hadn't taken so much as a sick day. Well, with one exception, months ago. But he had no reason to look at me with such concern. I was a model employee. ââ¬Å"Tomorrow is Saturday, isn't it?â⬠I said. Having just had it pointed out to me by Charlie, I realized how lifeless my voice really sounded. ââ¬Å"Yeah, it is,â⬠he agreed. ââ¬Å"See you in Spanish.â⬠He waved once before turning his back. He didn't bother walking me to class anymore. I trudged off to Calculus with a grim expression. This was the class where I sat next to Jessica. It had been weeks, maybe months, since Jess had even greeted me when I passed her in the hall. I knew I had offended her with my antisocial behavior, and she was sulking. It wasn't going to be easy to talk to her nowespecially to ask her to do me a favor. I weighed my options carefully as I loitered outside the classroom, procrastinating. I wasn't about to face Charlie again without some kind of social interaction to report. I knew I couldn't lie, though the thought of driving to Port Angeles and back alonebeing sure my odometer reflected the correct mileage, just in case he checkedwas very tempting. Jessica's mom was the biggest gossip in town, and Charlie was bound to run into Mrs. Stanley sooner rather than later. When he did, he would no doubt mention the trip. Lying was out. With a sigh, I shoved the door open. Mr. Varner gave me a dark lookhe'd already started the lecture. I hurried to my seat. Jessica didn't look up as I sat next to her. I was glad that I had fifty minutes to mentally prepare myself. This class flew by even faster than English. A small part of that speed was due to my goody-goody preparation this morning in the truckbut mostly it stemmed from the fact that time always sped up when I was looking forward to something unpleasant. I grimaced when Mr. Varner dismissed the class five minutes early. He smiled like he was being nice. ââ¬Å"Jess?â⬠My nose wrinkled as I cringed, waiting for her to turn on me. She twisted in her seat to face me, eyeing me incredulously. ââ¬Å"Are you talking to me, Bella?â⬠ââ¬Å"Of course.â⬠I widened my eyes to suggest innocence. ââ¬Å"What? Do you need help with Calculus?â⬠Her tone was a tad sour. ââ¬Å"No.â⬠I shook my head. ââ¬Å"Actually, I wanted to know if you would go to the movies with me tonight? I really need a girls' night out.â⬠The words sounded stiff, like badly delivered lines, and she looked suspicious. ââ¬Å"Why are you asking me?â⬠she asked, still unfriendly. ââ¬Å"You're the first person I think of when I want girl time.â⬠I smiled, and I hoped the smile looked genuine. It was probably true. She was at least the first person I thought of when I wanted to avoid Charlie. It amounted to the same thing. She seemed a little mollified. ââ¬Å"Well, I don't know.â⬠ââ¬Å"Do you have plans?â⬠ââ¬Å"No I guess I can go with you. What do you want to see?â⬠ââ¬Å"I'm not sure what's playing,â⬠I hedged. This was the tricky part. I racked my brain for a cluehadn't I heard someone talk about a movie recently? Seen a poster? ââ¬Å"How about that one with the female president?â⬠She looked at me oddly. ââ¬Å"Bella, that one's been out of the theater forever.â⬠ââ¬Å"Oh.â⬠I frowned. ââ¬Å"Is there anything you'd like to see?â⬠Jessica's natural bubbliness started to leak out in spite of herself as she thought out loud. ââ¬Å"Well, there's that new romantic comedy that's getting great reviews. I want to see that one. And my dad just saw Dead End and he really liked it.â⬠I grasped at the promising title. ââ¬Å"What's that one about?â⬠ââ¬Å"Zombies or something. He said it was the scariest thing he'd seen in years.â⬠ââ¬Å"That sounds perfect.â⬠I'd rather deal with real zombies than watch a romance. ââ¬Å"Okay.â⬠She seemed surprised by my response. I tried to remember if I liked scary movies, but I wasn't sure. ââ¬Å"Do you want me to pick you up after school?â⬠she offered. ââ¬Å"Sure.â⬠Jessica smiled at me with tentative friendliness before she left. My answering smile was just a little late, but I thought that she saw it. The rest of the day passed quickly, my thoughts focused on planning for tonight. I knew from experience that once I got Jessica talking, I would be able to get away with a few mumbled responses at the appropriate moments. Only minimal interaction would be required. The thick haze that blurred my days now was sometimes confusing. I was surprised when I found myself in my room, not clearly remembering the drive home from school or even opening the front door. But that didn't matter. Losing track of time was the most I asked from life. I didn't fight the haze as I turned to my closet. The numbness was more essential in some places than in others. I barely registered what I was looking at as I slid the door aside to reveal the pile of rubbish on the left side of my closet, under the clothes I never wore. My eyes did not stray toward the black garbage bag that held my present from that last birthday, did not see the shape of the stereo where it strained against the black plastic; I didn't think of the bloody mess my nails had been when I'd finished clawing it out of the dashboard. I yanked the old purse I rarely used off the nail it hung from, and shoved the door shut. Just then I heard a horn honking. I swiftly traded my wallet from my schoolbag into the purse. I was in a hurry, as if rushing would somehow make the night pass more quickly. I glanced at myself in the hall mirror before I opened the door, arranging my features carefully into a smile and trying to hold them there. ââ¬Å"Thanks for coming with me tonight,â⬠I told Jess as I climbed into the passenger seat, trying to infuse my tone with gratitude. It had been a while since I'd really thought about what I was saying to anyone besides Charlie. Jess was harder. I wasn't sure which were the right emotions to fake. ââ¬Å"Sure. So, what brought this on?â⬠Jess wondered as she drove down my street. ââ¬Å"Brought what on?â⬠ââ¬Å"Why did you suddenly decide to go out?â⬠It sounded like she changed her question halfway through. I shrugged. ââ¬Å"Just needed a change.â⬠I recognized the song on the radio then, and quickly reached for the dial. ââ¬Å"Do you mind?â⬠I asked. ââ¬Å"No, go ahead.â⬠I scanned through the stations until I found one that was harmless. I peeked at Jess's expression as the new music filled the car. Her eyes squinted. ââ¬Å"Since when do you listen to rap?â⬠ââ¬Å"I don't know,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"A while.â⬠ââ¬Å"You like this?â⬠she asked doubtfully. ââ¬Å"Sure.â⬠It would be much too hard to interact with Jessica normally if I had to work to tune out the music, too. I nodded my head, hoping I was in time with the beat. ââ¬Å"Okayâ⬠She stared out the windshield with wide eyes. ââ¬Å"So what's up with you and Mike these days?â⬠I asked quickly. ââ¬Å"You see him more than I do.â⬠The question hadn't started her talking like I'd hoped it would. ââ¬Å"It's hard to talk at work,â⬠I mumbled, and then I tried again. ââ¬Å"Have you been out with anyone lately?â⬠ââ¬Å"Not really. I go out with Conner sometimes. I went out with Eric two weeks ago.â⬠She rolled her eyes, and I sensed a long story. I clutched at the opportunity. ââ¬Å"Eric Yorkie? Who asked who?â⬠She groaned, getting more animated. ââ¬Å"He did, of course! I couldn't think of a nice way to say no.â⬠ââ¬Å"Where did he take you?â⬠I demanded, knowing she would interpret my eagerness as interest. ââ¬Å"Tell me all about it.â⬠She launched into her tale, and I settled into my seat, more comfortable now. I paid strict attention, murmuring in sympathy and gasping in horror as called for. When she was finished with her Eric story, she continued into a Conner comparison without any prodding. The movie was playing early, so Jess thought we should hit the twilight showing and eat later. I was happy to go along with whatever she wanted; after all, I was getting what I wantedCharlie off my back. I kept Jess talking through the previews, so I could ignore them more easily. But I got nervous when the movie started. A young couple was walking along a beach, swinging hands and discussing their mutual affection with gooey falseness. I resisted the urge to cover my ears and start humming. I had not bargained for a romance. ââ¬Å"I thought we picked the zombie movie,â⬠I hissed to Jessica. ââ¬Å"This is the zombie movie.â⬠ââ¬Å"Then why isn't anyone getting eaten?â⬠I asked desperately. She looked at me with wide eyes that were almost alarmed. ââ¬Å"I'm sure that part's coming,â⬠she whispered. ââ¬Å"I'm getting popcorn. Do you want any?â⬠ââ¬Å"No, thanks.â⬠Someone shushed us from behind. I took my time at the concession counter, watching the clock and debating what percentage of a ninety-minute movie could be spent on romantic exposition. I decided ten minutes was more than enough, but I paused just inside the theater doors to be sure. I could hear horrified screams blaring from the speakers, so I knew I'd waited long enough. ââ¬Å"You missed everything,â⬠Jess murmured when I slid back into my seat. ââ¬Å"Almost everyone is a zombie now.â⬠ââ¬Å"Long line.â⬠I offered her some popcorn. She took a handful. The rest of the movie was comprised of gruesome zombie attacks and endless screaming from the handful of people left alive, their numbers dwindling quickly. I would have thought there was nothing in that to disturb me. But I felt uneasy, and I wasn't sure why at first. It wasn't until almost the very end, as I watched a haggard zombie shambling after the last shrieking survivor, that I realized what the problem was. The scene kept cutting between the horrified face of the heroine, and the dead, emotionless face of her pursuer, back and forth as it closed the distance. And I realized which one resembled me the most. I stood up. ââ¬Å"Where are you going? There's, like, two minutes left,â⬠Jess hissed. ââ¬Å"I need a drink,â⬠I muttered as I raced for the exit. I sat down on the bench outside the theater door and tried very hard not to think of the irony. But it was ironic, all things considered, that, in the end, I would wind up as a zombie. I hadn't seen that one coming. Not that I hadn't dreamed of becoming a mythical monster oncejust never a grotesque, animated corpse. I shook my head to dislodge that train of thought, feeling panicky. I couldn't afford to think about what I'd once dreamed of. It was depressing to realize that I wasn't the heroine anymore, that my story was over. Jessica came out of the theater doors and hesitated, probably wondering where the best place was to search for me. When she saw me, she looked relieved, but only for a moment. Then she looked irritated. ââ¬Å"Was the movie too scary for you?â⬠she wondered. ââ¬Å"Yeah,â⬠I agreed. ââ¬Å"I guess I'm just a coward.â⬠ââ¬Å"That's funny.â⬠She frowned. ââ¬Å"I didn't think you were scaredI was screaming all the time, but I didn't hear you scream once. So I didn't know why you left.â⬠I shrugged. ââ¬Å"Just scared.â⬠She relaxed a little. ââ¬Å"That was the scariest movie I think I've ever seen. I'll bet we're going to have nightmares tonight.â⬠ââ¬Å"No doubt about that,â⬠I said, trying to keep my voice normal. It was inevitable that I would have nightmares, but they wouldn't be about zombies. Her eyes flashed to my face and away. Maybe I hadn't succeeded with the normal voice. ââ¬Å"Where do you want to eat?â⬠Jess asked. ââ¬Å"I don't care.â⬠ââ¬Å"Okay.â⬠Jess started talking about the male lead in the movie as we walked. I nodded as she gushed over his hotness, unable to remember seeing a non-zombie man at all. I didn't watch where Jessica was leading me. I was only vaguely aware that it was dark and quieter now. It took me longer than it should have to realize why it was quiet. Jessica had stopped babbling. I looked at her apologetically, hoping I hadn't hurt her feelings. Jessica wasn't looking at me. Her face was tense; she stared straight ahead and walked fast. As I watched, her eyes darted quickly to the right, across the road, and back again. I glanced around myself for the first time. We were on a short stretch of unlit sidewalk. The little shops lining the street were all locked up for the night, windows black. Half a block ahead, the streetlights started up again, and I could see, farther down, the bright golden arches of the McDonald's she was heading for. Across the street there was one open business. The windows were covered from inside and there were neon signs, advertisements for different brands of beer, glowing in front of them. The biggest sign, in brilliant green, was the name of the barOne-Eyed Pete's. I wondered if there was some pirate theme not visible from outside. The metal door was propped open; it was dimly lit inside, and the low murmur of many voices and the sound of ice clinking in glasses floated across the street. Lounging against the wall beside the door were four men. I glanced back at Jessica. Her eyes were fixed on the path ahead and she moved briskly. She didn't look frightenedjust wary, trying to not attract attention to herself. I paused without thinking, looking back at the four men with a strong sense of dj vu. This was a different road, a different night, but the scene was so much the same. One of them was even short and dark. As I stopped and turned toward them, that one looked up in interest. I stared back at him, frozen on the sidewalk. ââ¬Å"Bella?â⬠Jess whispered. ââ¬Å"What are you doing?â⬠I shook my head, not sure myself. ââ¬Å"I think I know themâ⬠I muttered. What was I doing? I should be running from this memory as fast as I could, blocking the image of the four lounging men from my mind, protecting myself with the numbness I couldn't function without. Why was I stepping, dazed, into the street? It seemed too coincidental that I should be in Port Angeles with Jessica, on a dark street even. My eyes focused on the short one, trying to match the features to my memory of the man who had threatened me that night almost a year ago. I wondered if there was any way I would recognize the man, if it was really him. That particular part of that particular evening was just a blur. My body remembered it better than my mind did; the tension in my legs as I tried to decide whether to run or to stand my ground, the dryness in my throat as I struggled to build a decent scream, the tight stretch of skin across my knuckles as I clenched my hands into fists, the chills on the back of my neck when the dark-haired man called me ââ¬Å"sugar.â⬠There was an indefinite, implied kind of menace to these men that had nothing to do with that other night. It sprung from the fact that they were strangers, and it was dark here, and they outnumbered usnothing more specific than that. But it was enough that Jessica's voice cracked in panic as she called after me. ââ¬Å"Bella, come on!â⬠I ignored her, walking slowly forward without ever making the conscious decision to move my feet. I didn't understand why, but the nebulous threat the men presented drew me toward them. It was a senseless impulse, but I hadn't felt any kind of impulse in so long I followed it. Something unfamiliar beat through my veins. Adrenaline, I realized, long absent from my system, drumming my pulse faster and fighting against the lack of sensation. It was strangewhy the adrenaline when there was no fear? It was almost as if it were an echo of the last time I'd stood like this, on a dark street in Port Angeles with strangers. I saw no reason for fear. I couldn't imagine anything in the world that there was left to be afraid of, not physically at least. One of the few advantages of losing everything. I was halfway across the street when Jess caught up to me and grabbed my arm. ââ¬Å"Bella! You can't go in a bar!â⬠she hissed. ââ¬Å"I'm not going in,â⬠I said absently, shaking her hand off. ââ¬Å"I just want to see somethingâ⬠ââ¬Å"Are you crazy?â⬠she whispered. ââ¬Å"Are you suicidal?â⬠That question caught my attention, and my eyes focused on her. ââ¬Å"No, I'm not.â⬠My voice sounded defensive, but it was true. I wasn't suicidal. Even in the beginning, when death unquestionably would have been a relief, I didn't consider it. I owed too much to Charlie. I felt too responsible for Renee. I had to think of them. And I'd made a promise not to do anything stupid or reckless. For all those reasons, I was still breathing. Remembering that promise. I felt a twinge of guilt. but what I was doing fight now didn't really count. It wasn't like I was taking a blade to my wrists. Jess's eyes were round, her mouth hung open. Her question about suicide had been rhetorical, I realized too late. ââ¬Å"Go eat,â⬠I encouraged her, waving toward the fast food. I didn't like the way she looked at me. ââ¬Å"I'll catch up in a minute.â⬠I turned away from her, back to the men who were watching us with amused, curious eyes. ââ¬Å"Bella, stop this right now!â⬠My muscles locked into place, froze me where I stood. Because it wasn't Jessica's voice that rebuked me now. It was a furious voice, a familiar voice, a beautiful voicesoft like velvet even though it was irate. It was his voiceI was exceptionally careful not to think his nameand I was surprised that the sound of it did not knock me to my knees, did not curl me onto the pavement in a torture of loss. But there was no pain, none at all. In the instant that I heard his voice, everything was very clear. Like my head had suddenly surfaced out of some dark pool. I was more aware of everythingsight, sound, the feel of the cold air that I hadn't noticed was blowing sharply against my face, the smells coming from the open bar door. I looked around myself in shock. ââ¬Å"Go back to Jessica,â⬠the lovely voice ordered, still angry. ââ¬Å"You promisednothing stupid.â⬠I was alone. Jessica stood a few feet from me, staring at me with frightened eyes. Against the wall, the strangers watched, confused, wondering what I was doing, standing there motionless in the middle of the street. I shook my head, trying to understand. I knew he wasn't there, and yet, he felt improbably close, close for the first time since since the end. The anger in his voice was concern, the same anger that was once very familiarsomething I hadn't heard in what felt like a lifetime. ââ¬Å"Keep your promise.â⬠The voice was slipping away, as if the volume was being turned down on a radio. I began to suspect that I was having some kind of hallucination. Triggered, no doubt, by the memorythe deja vu, the strange familiarity of the situation. I ran through the possibilities quickly in my head. Option one: I was crazy. That was the layman's term for people who heard voices in their heads. Possible. Option two: My subconscious mind was giving me what it thought I wanted. This was wish fulfillmenta momentary relief from pain by embracing the incorrect idea that he cared whether I lived or died. Projecting what he would have said if A) he were here, and B) he would be in any way bothered by something bad happening to me. Probable. I could see no option three, so I hoped it was the second option and this was just my subconscious running amuck, rather than something I would need to be hospitalized for. My reaction was hardly sane, thoughI was grateful. The sound of his voice was something that I'd feared I was losing, and so, more than anything else, I felt overwhelming gratitude that my unconscious mind had held onto that sound better than my conscious one had. I was not allowed to think of him. That was something I tried to be very strict about. Of course I slipped; I was only human. But I was getting better, and so the pain was something I could avoid for days at a time now. The tradeoff was the never-ending numbness. Between pain and nothing, I'd chosen nothing. I waited for the pain now. I was not numbmy senses felt unusually intense after so many months of the hazebut the normal pain held off. The only ache was the disappointment that his voice was fading. There was a second of choice. The wise thing would be to run away from this potentially destructiveand certainly mentally unstabledevelopment. It would be stupid to encourage hallucinations. But his voice was fading. I took another step forward, testing. ââ¬Å"Bella, turn around,â⬠he growled. I sighed in relief. The anger was what I wanted to hearfalse, fabricated evidence that he cared, a dubious gift from my subconscious. Very few seconds had passed while I sorted this all out. My little audience watched, curious. It probably looked like I was just dithering over whether or not I was going to approach them. How could they guess that I was standing there enjoying an unexpected moment of insanity? ââ¬Å"Hi,â⬠one of the men called, his tone both confident and a bit sarcastic. He was fair-skinned and fair-haired, and he stood with the assurance of someone who thought of himself as quite good-looking. I couldn't tell whether he was or not. I was prejudiced. The voice in my head answered with an exquisite snarl. I smiled, and the confident man seemed to take that as encouragement. ââ¬Å"Can I help you with something? You look lost.â⬠He grinned and winked. I stepped carefully over the gutter, running with water that was black in the darkness. ââ¬Å"No. I'm not lost.â⬠Now that I was closerand my eyes felt oddly in focusI analyzed the short, dark man's face. It was not familiar in any way. I suffered a curious sensation of disappointment that this was not the terrible man who had tried to hurt me almost a year ago. The voice in my head was quiet now. The short man noticed my stare. ââ¬Å"Can I buy you a drink?â⬠he offered, nervous, seeming flattered that I'd singled him out to stare at. ââ¬Å"I'm too young,â⬠I answered automatically. He was baffledwondering why I had approached them. I felt compelled to explain. ââ¬Å"From across the street, you looked like someone I knew. Sorry, my mistake.â⬠The threat that had pulled me across the street had evaporated. These were not the dangerous men I remembered. They were probably nice guys. Safe. I lost interest. ââ¬Å"That's okay,â⬠the confident blonde said. ââ¬Å"Stay and hang out with us.â⬠ââ¬Å"Thanks, but I can't.â⬠Jessica was hesitating in the middle of the street, her eyes wide with outrage and betrayal. ââ¬Å"Oh, just a few minutes.â⬠I shook my head, and turned to rejoin Jessica. ââ¬Å"Let's go eat,â⬠I suggested, barely glancing at her. Though I appeared to be, for the moment, freed of the zombie abstraction, I was just as distant. My mind was preoccupied. The safe, numb deadness did not come back, and I got more anxious with every minute that passed without its return. ââ¬Å"What were you thinking?â⬠Jessica snapped. ââ¬Å"You don't know themthey could have been psychopaths!â⬠I shrugged, wishing she would let it go. ââ¬Å"I just thought I knew the one guy.â⬠ââ¬Å"You are so odd, Bella Swan. I feel like I don't know who you are.â⬠ââ¬Å"Sorry.â⬠I didn't know what else to say to that. We walked to McDonald's in silence. I'd bet that she was wishing we'd taken her car instead of walking the short distance from the theater, so that she could use the drive-through. She was just as anxious now for this evening to be over as I had been from the beginning. I tried to start a conversation a few times while we ate, but Jessica was not cooperative. I must have really offended her. When we go back in the car, she tuned the stereo back to her favorite station and turned the volume too loud to allow easy conversation. I didn't have to struggle as hard as usual to ignore the music. Even though my mind, for once, was not carefully numb and empty, I had too much to think about to hear the lyrics. I waited for the numbness to return, or the pain. Because the pain must be coming. I'd broken my personal rules. Instead of shying away from the memories, I'd walked forward and greeted them. I'd heard his voice, so clearly, in my head. That was going to cost me, I was sure of it. Especially if I couldn't reclaim the haze to protect myself. I felt too alert, and that frightened me. But relief was still the strongest emotion in my bodyrelief that came from the very core of my being. As much as I struggled not to think of him, I did not struggle to forget. I worriedlate in the night, when the exhaustion of sleep deprivation broke down my defensesthat it was all slipping away. That my mind was a sieve, and I would someday not be able to remember the precise color of his eyes, the feel of his cool skin, or the texture of his voice. I could not think of them, but I must remember them. Because there was just one thing that I had to believe to be able to liveI had to know that he existed. That was all. Everything else I could endure. So long as he existed. That's why I was more trapped in Forks than I ever had been before, why I'd fought with Charlie when he suggested a change. Honestly, it shouldn't matter; no one was ever coming back here. But if I were to go to Jacksonville, or anywhere else bright and unfamiliar, how could I be sure he was real? In a place where I could never imagine him, the conviction might fade and that I could not live through. Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget; it was a hard line to walk. I was surprised when Jessica stopped the car in front of my house. The ride had not taken long, but, short as it seemed, I wouldn't have thought that Jessica could go that long without speaking. ââ¬Å"Thanks for going out with me, Jess,â⬠I said as I opened my door. ââ¬Å"That wasfun.â⬠I hoped that fun was the appropriate word. ââ¬Å"Sure,â⬠she muttered. ââ¬Å"I'm sorry about after the movie.â⬠ââ¬Å"Whatever, Bella.â⬠She glared out the windshield instead of looking at me. She seemed to be growing angrier rather than getting over it. ââ¬Å"See you Monday?â⬠ââ¬Å"Yeah. Bye.â⬠I gave up and shut the door. She drove away, still without looking at me. I'd forgotten her by the time I was inside. Charlie was waiting for me in the middle of the hall, his arms folded tight over his chest with his hands balled into fists. ââ¬Å"Hey, Dad,â⬠I said absentmindedly as I ducked around Charlie, heading for the stairs. I'd been thinking about him for too long, and I wanted to be upstairs before it caught up with me. ââ¬Å"Where have you been?â⬠Charlie demanded. I looked at my dad, surprised. ââ¬Å"I went to a movie in Port Angeles with Jessica. Like I told you this morning.â⬠ââ¬Å"Humph,â⬠he grunted. ââ¬Å"Is that okay?â⬠He studied my face, his eyes widening as if he saw something unexpected. ââ¬Å"Yeah, that's fine. Did you havefun?â⬠ââ¬Å"Sure,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"We watched zombies eat people. It was great.â⬠His eyes narrowed. ââ¬Å"ââ¬ËNight, Dad.â⬠He let me pass. I hurried to my room. I lay in my bed a few minutes later, resigned as the pain finally made its appearance. It was a crippling thing, this sensation that a huge hole had been punched through my chest, excising my most vital organs and leaving ragged, unhealed gashes around the edges that continued to throb and bleed despite the passage of time. Rationally, I knew my lungs must still be intact, yet I gasped for air and my head spun like my efforts yielded me nothing. My heart must have been beating, too, but I couldn't hear the sound of my pulse in my ears; my hands felt blue with cold. I curled inward, hugging my ribs to hold myself together. I scrambled for my numbness, my denial, but it evaded me. And yet, I found I could survive. I was alert, I felt the painthe aching loss that radiated out from my chest, sending wracking waves of hurt through my limbs and headbut it was manageable. I could live through it. It didn't feel like the pain had weakened over time, rather that I'd grown strong enough to bear it. Whatever it was that had happened tonightand whether it was the zombies, the adrenaline, or the hallucinations that were responsibleit had woken me up. For the first time in a long time, I didn't know what to expect in the morning.
Patricia Bath Biography
Patricia Bath, born in 1942, faced many problems dealing with discrimination as she climbed her way to the top in her profession. During her life time she had completed many accomplishments such as, making a safer and more efficient way to help cataract patients. Patricia at an early age had begun to love science because of her mother and her father, who was also the first African American in his profession. As she was pushed by her parents to pursue a successful career, she begun to strive for and use all she had to get to that point in her profession of ophthalmology. In honor of black history month, many students have learned about many happenings that lead up to having this dedication and many people who helped contribute towards it. Patricia Bath from an early age began making decisions to later help her achieve many goals in ophthalmology, which among all others was the Laserphaco Probe. Many problems stood in Patriciaââ¬â¢s way as she began to make her first achievements, but many believe that these obstacles just pushed her further (Lindberg, M. D. ). Throughout her life Patricia was the first African-American woman to do many things. She was the first to complete a residency in ophthalmology as an African American. In her department, she was the first female at UCLAââ¬â¢s Jules Stein Eye Institute in 1974. Her profession was dealing with those who had cataracts and in 1988 she really contributed in that aspect, she had created the Laserphaco Probe. The Laserphaco Probe is Patriciaââ¬â¢s accomplishment that she is most known for. As she began to work on this device, she used it on human cadavers and through many of these tests, she made various modifications (Patricia E. Bath). The Laserphaco Probe then and now uses a laser to more efficiently, effectively, safely, and painlessly remove the cataracts from a personââ¬â¢s eye. Through this she was also the first African-American female doctor to ever receive a patent, much less than in four different countries (Biography Channel). The lasers on this invention vaporized the films on the eye of the patient without doing any or severe damage to the eye itself. Patricia now works as an educator to upcoming ophthalmologists at her new Residency Training Program. Ophthalmology has been her main profession hroughout her life and even after retiring from her original place of work she was elected to the Centerââ¬â¢s Honorary staff (Lindberg, M. D. ). As defined by the (Merriam Webster) dictionary her profession is, ââ¬Å"a branch that deals with the anatomy, physiology and diseases of the eye. â⬠Another milestone in Bathââ¬â¢s life was that she, ââ¬Å"co-founded the American Institute for the Prevent ion of Blindness, which established that ââ¬Å"eyesight is a basic human rightâ⬠(Biography Channel). However, to get this far in life education was necessary. Bath went to a variety of colleges ranging from Hunter College to Howard University to Colombia University. Patricia Bath will forever be known as the inventor of a device for cataract surgery, or better known as the Laserphaco Probe. Though facing many obstacles throughout her life Bath overcame them and spun them in her favor to be the first to do many things. To think that this all started with the chemistry set given to her by her mother as a young girl (Biography Channel). Along with her other inspiration she did this, which was the love of humanity and passion for helping others. Bath continues to further help her profession by introducing and inducting new future successors into her field through her training program. Work Cited Page Lindberg, M.D., Donald. ââ¬Å"Patricia Bath.â⬠Changing the Face of Medicine. Harvard Medical School, 19 Feb. 2013. Web. 19 Feb 2013. . ââ¬Å"Patricia Bath.â⬠2013. The Biography Channel website. Feb 20 2013, 01:27 http://www.biography.com/people/patricia-bath-21038525. Patricia E. Bath, MD [emailà protected]
Wednesday, October 9, 2019
Cultural report on workplace bullying in Israel Essay
Cultural report on workplace bullying in Israel - Essay Example The problem Ayoko et al (2003) states that lack of proper employee and multicultural management leads to workplace bullies. This is normally characterized by name-calling, taunting, teasing or even sexual harassment. The situation is much worse if the company or organizationââ¬â¢s management is involved in the bullying of employees because the affected employees have no one to run to for help. It also reduces the chances of such a vice fading away. Such a case of management involvement in bullying employee has been reported in this textile company. Employees especially those of Australian origin have reported that they are being bullied by the company management. Some of the employees have reported that they have been called names while some of them have reported constant taunting and teasing. According to Brodsky (1976), bullying makes the workplace unbearable for bullied workers. It also impacts negatively on their productivity. This is to say that bullying kills their morale an d motivation. Bullying of employees by company management makes workers to develop a negative attitude towards the company and hence they put little or no efforts to see to it that its production levels increase. Wiedmer (2011) explains that when bullied, workers who are innovative in nature and those who are good at identifying new markets go mute. This means the company is directly loosing a lot as a result of its discriminative management. Apart from affecting employees, the negative culture has also impacts negatively on the management practice. For example, it makes the management to loose the respect of employees. This means that the rate of taking instructions reduces because the employees are no longer willing to co-operate with the management. Some could also be on a revenge mission to see to it that the company records poor performance so as to taint the image of the oppressive management. Bullying taints the credibility of the management. Crawford (1997) explains that emp loyees loose usually confidence in a management that participates in jokes that are racially and even sexually offensive. According to De Dreu (2007), bullying of employees by management can divide the management along racial lines. For example though this textile company is Australian based, not all its management is of Australian or Israeli origin. Some of its members therefore feel bad to see their fellow citizens being bullied or discriminated by a section of the management. Alternative Solutions Alternative solutions to bullying as an evil culture of bullying touch on the management as well as the employees. Such measures will ensure that the culture does not simply shift from the management to the employees or become a collaboration between sections of the two. First, the company should create a company culture that not only accepts but also appreciates the variations that every employee brings to the workplace. Ashforth (1994) states that the new culture should enable the man agement as well as the employees to recognize, appreciate and most importantly, to respect variations between cultures. The company should also develop an amalgamated culture from all the cultures represented in the company. Saam (2010) explains that such a unifying culture will form a common basis of conduct for all the employees irrespective of their cultural backgrounds. The company also should develop employment policies then
Tuesday, October 8, 2019
Choose one Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 500 words - 3
Choose one - Essay Example Parents should show their children the value of improving the innate talents. Children have different mindsets and temperaments since some are shy while other display self-confidence. According to the ethical principle of common good, parents should allow their children to attain both spiritual and human flourishing by encouraging the development of innate talents (Gill 98). The society should also allow each human being to fulfill his vocation by offering an enabling environment for the development of talents. For instance, Josh Waitskin started playing chess at six years and won the first championships at age of age. Josh followed his innate talent and his learning process. Joshââ¬â¢s mother never discouraged his child to start playing Chess despite his young age. According to Josh, parents should encourage children to express their own unique individual personality. Parents have the ethical duty to instill confidence and assist their children develop the talents. According to t he principle of distributive justice, every human being in the society should be accorded human dignity and respect notwithstanding his quality of judgments. Parents should allow their children the opportunity to learn from their own experiences (Gill 110). Sadly, Josh Waitzkin lost his passion for Chess at 19 years due to pressure to meet other peopleââ¬â¢s expectations. Josh advises school authorities and parents to encourage children to listen to their ââ¬Å"own natural voice and help the kids to develop their innate gifts (Josh, Waitzkin YouTube video)â⬠On the other hand, opponents assert that parents should control the choices of their children regarding the development of innate talents. They argue that children have no ability to make informed decisions thus lack the right to choice. Parents should make decisions on the choices of their children regarding the development of innate gifts. Parents should set high and realistic goals for their
Monday, October 7, 2019
Media Study Coursework Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 250 words
Media Study - Coursework Example The aim of having as much information on one page is to save on printing results. This results in properties been placed wherever space is available to accommodate them. In order to find a property the customer would essentially have to go through the whole brochure which is time consuming. Additionally, the customer will be overwhelmed with too many options. Furthermore, if houses are sold the customer is not aware until contact is made with the sales agent. New Communications Context ââ¬â Online Publication The product will be digitised so that it can be uploaded online. The first page of the magazine will have different sections indicating the types of properties available - townhouses, two family houses, apartments, etc. These will be hyperlinked to the relevant pages. There will also be requirements for additional inputs to narrow users search. See New York Mag (n.d.). These will include inputs for lower and upper limit of price range and location. Here the customer will not have to waste time searching through irrelevant information. All relevant pages in the online brochure will be linked to the home page. The online edition will also allow the potential purchaser to view the property inside out by way of a virtual tour of the house. Additional information on the property will be accessed by way of a hyperlink. These include contact details.
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