The Vampire Diaries: The Struggle Chapter Thirteen

Elena stirred, consequently open up heavy eyelids. Light was showing around the edges of the curtains. She found it hard to move, so she lay there on her bed and tried to piece to relieve oneselfher what had happened last night.Damon. Damon had come here and threatened Margaret. And so Elena had g wiz to him. Hed won. still why hadnt he finished it? Elena lifted a languid hand to touch the fount of her neck, already knowing what she would find. Yes, there they were two sm altogether punctures that were tender and sensitive to pressure.Yet she was still alive. Hed stop short of carrying out his promise. Why?Her memories of the last hours were confused and blurry. Only fragments were clear. Damons eyes looking down at her, filling her tout ensemble human being. The sharp sting at her throat. And, later, Damon opening his shirt, Damons blood welling from a sm alone slice in his neck.Hed made her drink his blood then. Ifmade was the right word. She didnt remember putting up whate ver electric resistance or feeling any revulsion. By then, she had wanted it.But she wasnt dead, or even seriously weakened. He hadnt made her into a vampire. And that was what she couldnt understand.He has no morals and no conscience, she re minded herself. So it certainly wasnt mercy that halt him. He probably just wants to draw the game out, marque you suffer more before he kills you. Or maybe he wants you to be like Vickie, with one foot in the shadow world and one in the light. Going slowly mad that way.One function was sure she wouldnt be fooled into persuasion it was kindness on his helping. Damon wasnt capable of kindness. Or of caring for anybody but himself.Pushing the blankets back, she rose from the bed. She could hear auntie Judith moving around in the h eitherway. It was Mon daylight morning and she had to get ready to go to school.Dear Diary,Its no honourable pretending Im not frightened, because I am. Tomorrows Thanksgiving, and Founders Day is two old age af ter that. And I still seducent forecast out a way to stop Carolean and Tyler.I dont know what to do. If I sack upt get my journal back from Carolean, shes expiry to read it in front of everyone. Shell shake up a perfect opportunity shes one of the three seniors chosen to read poetry during the closing ceremonies. Chosen by the school board, of which Tylers father is a member, I might add. I wonder what hell think when this is all over?But what difference does it make? Unless I can come up with a plan, when this is all over Ill be beyond caring. And Stefan bequeath be gone, run out of town by the good citizens of Fells Church. Or dead, if he doesnt get close to of his Powers back. And if he dies, Ill die too. Its that simple.Which means I give to find a way to get the diary. I have to.But I cant.I know, youre searching for me to say it. there is a way to get my diary Damons way. All I need to do is agree to his price.But you dont understand how such(prenominal) that fri ghtens me. non just because Damon frightens me, but because Im afraid(predicate) of what pull up stakes happen if he and I are together again. Im afraid of what result happen to me and to me and Stefan.I cant talk about this any more. Its too up drawting. I feel so confused and lost and alone. Theres nobody I can turn to or talk to. Nobody who could peradventure understand.What am I going to do?November 28, Thursday, 1130p.m.Dear Diary,Things seem clearer today, maybe because Ive come to a decision. Its a decision that terrifies me, but its better than the only alternative I can thinkof.Im going to read Stefan everything.Its the only thing I can do now. Founders Day is Saturday and I havent come up with any plan of my own. But maybe Stefan can, if he realizes how desperate the situation is. Im going over to spend the day at the boarding theatre of operations tomorrow, and when I get there Im going to tell him everything I should have told him in the first place.Everything. Ab out Damon, too.Oh, Im scared. My stomach is churning. I could barely touch Thanksgiving dinner and I cant keep still I feel as if I might fly apart into a million pieces. Go to remainder tonight? Ha.Please let Stefan understand. Please let him forgive me.The funniest thing is, I wanted to become a better person for him. I wanted to be honorable of his love. Stefan has these ideas about honor, about whats right and wrong. And now, when he finds out how Ive been lying to him, what will he think of me? depart he believe me, that I was only trying to protect him? Will he ever reliance me again?Tomorrow Ill know. Oh, God, I wish it were already over. I dont know how Ill live until then.Elena slipped out of the house without telling Aunt Judith where she was going. She was tired of lies, but she didnt want to face the fuss there would inevitably be if she said she was going to Stefans. Ever since Damon had come to dinner, Aunt Judith had been talking about him, throwing subtle and no t-so-subtle hints into every conversation. And Robert was more or less as bad. Elena some dates model he egged Aunt Judith on.She leaned on the doorbell of the boarding house wearily. Where was Mrs. Flowers these days? When the door finally opened, Stefan was behind it.He was dressed for outdoors, his jacket collar turned up. I thought we could go for a walk, he said.No. Elena was firm. She couldnt manage a real smile for him, so she halt trying. She said, Lets go upstairs, Stefan, all right? Theres something we need to talk about.He looked at her a moment in surprise. Something must have shown in her face, for his expression gradually stilled and darkened. He took a deep breath and nodded. Without a word, he turned and led the way to his room.The trunks and dressers and bookcases had long since been put back into order, of course. But Elena entangle as if she was really noticing this for the first time. For some reason, she thought of the very first night shed been here, when S tefan had saved her from Tylers stir embrace. Her eyes ran over the objects on the dresser the fifteenth century metal(prenominal) florins, the ivory-hiked dagger, the little iron ammunition chest with the hinged lid. Shed tried to open that the first night and hed slammed the lid down.She turned. Stefan was standing by the window, outlined by the rectangle of antiquated and dismal sky. Every day this week had been chilly and misty, and this was no exception. Stefans expression mirrored the weather outside.Well, he said quietly, what do we need to talk about?There was one last moment of choice, and then Elena committed herself. She stretched out a hand to the small iron coffer and opened it.Inside, a duration of apricot silk shone with muted luster. Her tomentum cerebri ribbon. It reminded her of summer, ofAbout this, she said.He had taken a step forward when she touched(p) the coffer, but now he looked puzzled and surprised. Aboutthat ?Yes. Because I knew it was there, Stefan . I found it a long time ago, one day when you left the room for a few handsomes. I dont know why I had to know what was in there, but I couldnt help it. So I found the ribbon. And then She halt and braced herself. Then I wrote about it in my diary.Stefan was looking more and more bewildered, as if this was not at all what hed been expecting. Elena groped for the right words.I wrote about it because I thought it was evidence that youd cared about me all along, enough to pick it up and keep it. I never thought it could be evidence of anything else.Then, suddenly, she was verbalise quickly. She told him about taking her diary to Bonnies house, about how it had been stolen. She told him about getting the notes, about realizing that Caroline was the one who was move them. And then, turning extraneous, pulling the summer-colored silk over and over through her nervous fingers, she told him about Caroline and Tylers plan.Her voice about gave out at the end. Ive been so frightened sin ce then, she whispered, her eyes still on the ribbon. Scared that youd be indignant with me. Scared of what theyre going to do. Just scared. I tried to get the diary back, Stefan, I even went to Carolines house. But she has it too well hidden. And Ive thought and thought, but I cant think of any way of stopping her from development it. At last she looked up at him. Im sorry.You should be he said, startling her with his vehemence. She felt the blood waste pipe from her face. But Stefan was going on. You should be sorry for keeping something like that from me when I could have helped you. Elena, why didnt you justtell me?Because its all my fault. And I had a dream She tried to describe how he had looked in the dreams, the bitterness, the accusation in his eyes. I think I would die if you really looked at me that way, she concluded miserably.But Stefans expression as he looked at her now was a combination of relief and wonder. So thats it, he said, almost in a whisper himself. Thats whats been bothering you.Elena opened her mouth, but he was still speaking. I knew something was wrong, I knew you were holding something back. But I thought He shook his head and a skewed smile tugged at his lips. It doesnt matter now. I didnt want to invade your privacy. I didnt even want to ask. And all the time you were worried about protectingme. Elenas knife was stuck to the roof of her mouth. The words seemed to be stuck, too. Theres more, she thought, but she couldnt say it, not when Stefans eyes looked like that, not when his whole face was alight that way.When you said we needed to talk today, I thought youd changed your mind about me, he said simply, without self-pity. And I wouldnt have blamed you. But instead He shook his head again. Elena, he said.It felt so good to be there, so right. She hadnt even realized how wrong things had been between them until now, when the incorrectness had disappeared.This was what she remembered, what she had felt that first glorious ni ght when Stefan had held her. All the sweetness and tenderness in the world blow up between them. She was home, where she belonged. Where she would always belong.Everything else was forgotten.As she had in the beginning, Elena felt as if she could almost read Stefans thoughts. They were connected, a part of individually other. Their hearts beat to the same rhythm.Only one thing was needed to make it complete. Elena knew that, and she tossed her hair back, reaching from behind to pull it away from the side of her neck. And this time Stefan did not protest or get her. Instead of refusal he was radiating a deep acceptance and a deep need.Feelings of love, of delight, of appreciation overwhelmed her and with distrustful joy she realized the feelings were his. For a moment, she sensed herself through his eyes, and sensed how much he cared for her. It might have been frightening if she had not had the same depth of feeling to give back to him.She felt no painful sensation as his tee th pierced her neck. And it didnt even occur to her that she had unthinkingly offered him the unmarked side even though the wounds Damon had left were healed already.She clung to him when he tried to lift his head. He was adamant, though, and at last she had to let him do it. Still holding her, he groped over onto the dresser for the wicked ivory-handled blade and with one quick drive he let his own blood flow.When Elenas knees grew weak, he sat her on the bed. And then they just held each other, unaware of time or anything else. Elena felt that only she and Stefan existed.I love you, he said softly.At first Elena, in her pleasant haze, simply accepted the words. Then, with a chill of sweetness, she realized what hed said.Heloved her. Shed known it all along, but he had never said it before.I love you, Stefan, she whispered back. She was surprised when he shifted and pulled away slightly, until she saw what he was doing. Reaching inside his sweater, he drew out the chain he had w eak around his neck ever since she had known him. On the chain was a gold ring, exquisitely crafted, set with lapis lazuli.Katherines ring. As Elena watched, he took the chain off and unclasped it, removing the delicate golden band.When Katherine died, he said, I thought I could never love anyone else. Even though I knew she would have wanted me to, I was sure it could never happen. But I was wrong. He hesitated a moment and then went on.I kept the ring because it was a symbol of her. So I could keep her in my heart. But now Id like it to be a symbol of something else. Again he hesitated, seeming almost afraid to meet her eyes. Considering theand then gave up, his eyes run into hers mutely.Elena couldnt speak. She couldnt even breathe. But Stefan misinterpreted her silence. The hope in his eyes died and he turned away.Youre right, he said. Its all impossible. There are just too many difficulties because of me. Because of what I am. Nobody like you should be tied to soul like me. I shouldnt even have suggested it Stefan said Elena. Stefan, if youll be quiet a moment so just forget I said anything Stefan she said. Stefan,look at me. Slowly, he obeyed, turning back. He looked into her eyes, and the bitter contriteness faded from his face, to be replaced by a look that made her lose her breath again. Then, still slowly, he took the hand she was holding out. Deliberately, as they both watched, he slipped the ring onto her finger.It fit as if it had been made for her. The gold glinted richly in the light, and the lapis shone a deep vibrant blue like a clear lake border by untouched snow.Well have to keep it a secret for a slice, she said, hearing the tremor in her voice.Aunt Judith will have a fit if she knows Im engaged before I graduate. But Ill be eighteen next summer, and then she cant stop us.Elena, are you sure this is what you want? It wont be easy supporting with me. Ill always be different from you, no matter how I try. If you ever want to chang e your mindAs long as you love me, Ill never change my mind.He took her in his arms again, and slumber and contentment enfolded her. But there was still one fear that gnawed at the edges of her consciousness.Stefan, about tomorrow if Caroline and Tyler carry out their plan, it wont matter if I change my mind or not.Then well just have to make sure they cant carry it out. If Bonnie and Meredith will help me, I think I can find a way to get the diary from Caroline. But even if I cant, Im not going to run. I wont intrust you, Elena Im going to full stop and fight.But theyll hurt you. Stefan, I cant stand that.And I cant leave you. Thats settled. Let me worry about the rest of it Ill find a way. And if I dont well, no matter what Ill stay with you. Well be together.Well be together, Elena repeated, and rested her head on his shoulder, happy to stop thinking for a while and justbe.Dear Diary,Its late but I couldnt snooze. I dont seem to need as much sleep as I used to.Well, tomorrow s the day.We talked to Bonnie and Meredith tonight. Stefans plan is simplicity itself. The thing is, no matter where Caroline has hidden the diary, she has to bring it out tomorrow to take it with her. But our readings are the last thing on the agenda, and she has to be in the parade and everything first. Shell have to stash the diary somewhere during that time. So if we watch her from the minute she leaves her house until she gets up on stage, we should be able to see where she puts it down. And since she doesnt even know were suspicious, she wont be on guard.Thats when we get it.The reason the plan will work is because everyone in the program will be in period dress. Mrs. Grimesby, the librarian, will help us put on our 19th century clothes before the parade, and we cant be wearing or carrying anything thats not part of the costume. No purses, no backpacks. No diaries Caroline will have to leave it behind at some point.Were taking turns watching her. Bonnie is going to wait outsid e her house and see what Carolines carrying when she leaves. Ill watch her when she gets dressed at Mrs. Grimesbys house. Then, while the parade is going on, Stefan and Meredith will break into the house or the Forbes car, if thats where it is and do their stuff.I dont see how it can fail. And I cant tell you how much better I feel. Its so good just to be able to share this problem with Stefan. Ive knowing my lesson Ill never keep things from him again.Im wearing my ring tomorrow. If Mrs. Grimesby asks me about it, Ill tell her its even older than 19th century, its from renascence Italy. Id like to see her face when I say that.Id better try to get some sleep now. I hope I dont dream.